And so it goes

Yeah, it does go. Here's what has been happening since my last post. XXXXX as you know, has been more talkative with me. Excellent! She seems to be getting over her ex more and more everyday! Definitely good! One of our chats on FB she mentioned that she has some time off in March and asked me if I had ever been on a cruise. I have not. She asked me if I would go on a cruise with her! OMG! I almost passed out. DAMN RIGHT I would! Whoa. Those plans changed a few days later. No problem. She forgot that March was going to be a busy month and that other family plans were put ahead of any cruise. Family comes first! A few days later we were chatting about this and that. Here is some info that is paramount to the story but would get me in trouble if I told you so, I'm gonna skip some parts. Basically I was invited up to see her for a certain reason. Plans were made and I was to leave tomorrow. Imagine how I'm feeling right now. I haven't seen XXXXX since what......September? I was soooo excited to get to see her and couldn't wait till I left! Plans changed. Her therapist advised against me coming up to see her. Why? One reason was that her therapist thought didn't want XXXXX to mislead me or lead me on. Would that have happened? Hard to tell. I get the feeling that XXXXX is starting to have feelings for me but is afraid of them. Could I be right? Here's what I think. She asked if I would be interested on going on a cruise with her. That's a good sign! She asked if I would go to a demolition derby with her during the summer! That's a good sign! She has mentioned that she just wants to hang around with me and get drunk and just hang out. What do you think? Am I just reading things that are not there? Knowing how I feel about her I may just be doing that. I don't think so though. I think I may need to back off even further now in order for her to figure out what she wants and can only hope it's me! More later. I'm getting tired.

OMG!

How things have changed since I last posted! XXXXX has been more talkative towards me since my last post. She is still having issues in regards to her ex. Still having a hard time dealing with the breakup. Her idle time is basically consumed with thoughts of him. Idle time. I understand how she feels since during all of my idle time all I do is think about her. She is having an especially hard time with it though. I finally told her that she is co-dependent and she agreed with my synopsis. She needs to move on but it's not as easy as just getting over him. Boy, do I understand that. I do my best to help her through this rough time by telling, suggesting, that she occupy her time by keeping busy. Easier said then done! The weather up there hasn't been conducive to any outside activities, so that is out of the question. OK. Here is what has been happening. A few days ago she asked if I had ever been on a cruise. I have not. She asked me if I would go on a cruise with her! OMG! DAMN RIGHT I would! With no strings or expectations attached! Just being with her would be sooo cool! She mentioned a demolition derby in Lancaster. Yeah, I'd be there! Tonight she actually asked me this:

XXXXX

so when can u come up to visit?

OMG! My answer? ANYTIME! I'm trying not to get my hopes up but it's hard not too. I so very much want to see her and spend time with her. BUT, she could always change her mind. What if she does? I can deal with it! I have to! I'm not looking to have sex with her, although that would be great, but just seeing her and spending time with her and making her happy is all that I could ask for. Just seeing her happy is all that matters to me! Mind you, I LOVE this woman! I have for the past 18 years! OK! I feel better now just knowing that we still remain friends even though she knows I feel differently about her than she does of me. It's ALL good! Stay tuned!